It had been so long since i last blog, seems like i've already lost my momentum in doin it. However once i start, i feel like i've a million things to say bout just tat i donno where to start from.
Seems to me tat it's jus skeptical to call ppl in camp 'friends' cos time jus brings out a person's true colour no matter how well they hide themselves behind tat 'i'm-politically-correct' mask. Well, even i hav one and i got it for free, the fact tat ppl hav tis mask to make sure others around don't really get hurt or hav a minimal impact when something 'evil' is being done onto them. The main thing about tis issue is how the person looks like behind the mask. I've jus seen a few of the ugly faces tat some ppl can hav, guess tat tis is jus the prelude to the 'real' world. Wonder if my heart can take anymore of tis kind of 'shocks'. Mayb i'm not the best person to comment on tis thing but i don't remember bringing any harm to anyone (cos being evil is not my forte and i'm seriously honest about it) other than those i thought to deserve it and as a matter of fact they really do. Since those people choose to b doing things that are inconsiderate or rather 'hurtful' then so b it, cos u are not them and u can't change wat they think.
ORD-ing isn't jus about freedom and pink ic, it jus bring along a wave of emotion surge to me. Frankly speaking, i'm not exactly very happy to ORD (ppl might think tat i'm crazy, jus wait till u ORD and u will find out). It's true tat being able to sleep in bunk the whole day jus to wait for someone to do clearence for u or to collect documents from ur superiors is jus the best thing tat could hav happen in the whole NS life, but i don't expect my ORD to turn out to b something tat is jus so anti-climax as wat i used to tot it would b. Sad to say, some camp mates will always remain as camp mates. Wat stays in camp will always remains in camp, guess tat ORD jus bring an end to not jus ur national service, it also brings an end to friends (or should i say fake friendship tat never had been there b4?), a friendship tat never last. All the 'we-shall-keep-in-contact' will jus stay in camp, some didn't even bother to say goodbye, how great can tat b?
People just change due to situations they faced. I think it's because we had never faced anything 'earthshaking or sky breaking' before throughout our unit life tat's y we are not bonded. Bonded in the sense tat we will b there for each other, or someone wanting to b there for another cos they want to not need to. No matter wat i still think tat BMT life is and had always been the best time through my 2 yrs full-time job. We get screwed like shit, treated like shit but we bonded like brothers. It's a hard to explain thing but i think friends doesn't need to b together, always, but should b in our heart forever, tat is wat my definintion of a friend.
When one shows others his true self, people will still see him as someone fake. Ironically, things always happen as vice versa, people will tend to believe wat is 'tot to b true' and ignoring the raw truth. It doesn't bring us very far and it just shows how superficial people can get. It's jus plain saddening, disappointing and disgusting for them to judge like tat since they don't even know others well and all the criticisms were jus bullshit and unconstructive. Rather to get angry and sad with them, y not jus ignore and move on? Staying at the same spot will jus make urself getting hurt more. I've jus realised tat i'm jus too afraid to make the 1st step in a new phase. I jus hav too much fear to start off and it jams up my brain big time. I only hav a week or so to make my decision and it hav to and must b a good one, gotta flush out everything and make sure tis time things work out rite!
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