It's been awhile since i've been last blogged, i know u guys are DYING to read my updates (kidding). Previous weeks had been really hectic for me till a point where i don't even know or understand y i don't hav time for myself. Life was like work->sleep->work-sleep and on and on. I had to rush my docent's project, rushing for ben's project (didn't do a proper one though due to lack of time), study for my docent's tests and rushing off to newton for M9 lessons held over 3 nites. M9 Lesson was really fast as it's supposed to b held over 3 full days, 9 to 5 each. Ugh. Test date is not set yet so i will hav ample time to prep myself for the test, luckily.
In a few hours time i will b in the zoo, doing my retests and presenting my project done and get done with the 3 months of training phase and (hopefully) graduate as a docent AND life will not b as b-z as now (hopefully again). It's like a never ending cycle where new events will fill in my schedule as soon as there are free slots available. I can foresee tat when my docent programme become a at-least-once-a-month thing, the insurance 'programme' will fill in the slot. Suffocating, but I WILL SURVIVE!!!
And nite lessons after work is really no fun. If i hav a chance to go uni, i will sure to take up a full time course instead of a part time study-after-work course; projects will be almost impossible to b done properly, homework and revisions will not be as e-z to b done due to the lack of time. Hope these are considered valid reasons instead of excuses.
Anyways, recent updates of myself (like finally), bought a new secondhand travel lens thru clubsnap but the quality of the lens is alittle cui. I suspect there is fungus growth inside of the lens plus dusts can b seen as well, didn't know y i still went ahead to buy from tat guy but oh well, i will need to send it for a cleanup. Bad thing was tat 'Fatigue' from clubsnap (a guy who cleanup lens for ppl and charges very low) doesn't wan to cleanup my lens, weird guy (i mean who doesn't mind extra cash?)...Quality of pictures taken using the lens is really beyond my expectations though (guess the cam body does its part as well).
Went to watch "Final Destination 4 in 3D" with my family jus now and the series really hav to stop already. 1st of all, it didn't satisfy my inner sick happy-tree-friends hunger, 2ndly there were too much loopholes to the movies tat doesn't make any sense, 3rdly the storyline was getting more and more i-know-wat's-gonna-happen-next and lastly i don't think it's worth $13 per tix when it was such a short movie. My dad and mom were alittle traumatized though saying it was too scary for them; too bloody and gore i guess? My sis and i was like, 'ugh, such a boring movie', lol.
I miss those slacking days when i was jobless then. I so looking forward to a backpacking road trip in aussie/new zealand with few friends. I miss the farm stay in aussie not forgetting seeing the milkyway for the 1st time as well. I miss sleeping for 10hrs a day.
I miss being a kid...
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Confused
Ever felt so lost and confused tat you didn't know wat to do next or how to continue? I know it's not right to think tis way but i jus can't help it. I'm lingering at the grey area where i don't even know wat's right or wrong anymore...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Twice bitten, forever shy
Finally an entry after the last one in July. Sad to say, tis ain't really a happy entry as well. To summarise for my genting trip; it sucked, big time! And tis is the worst trip ever even though i tot my ORD trip was quite bad due to some drama when ben had his bitch fit for one of the nite but was pacified when some retail therapy was done and the fact tat i last for hp for the 1st time.
My most enjoyable moments only lasted for a total of 5hrs, at most; went to watch G.I Joe with dad and sis and the movie really kicked ass. It's best action movie tat i had watch so far for tis yr (transformers 2 wasn't really tat great, i only gav scores for megan fox, terminator 4 jus had some brainless explosion scenes with not much storyline.). Went shopping with my sis and had our peace time for tat few hrs and of cos the best part which was the sky venture (although i can't really 'fly' tat well back then).
The whole trip did not serve its purpose for me though when i had already planned to make tis trip an escape for me from work, from all the stress, all the responsibilities tat i hav to face in my own reality. All the babysittings and running away from my aunt's phone calls was really tiring me out mentally. The only innocent party was my cousin, whom had hoped to enjoy himself at the outdoor theme park with us but didn't get to do anything he wanted, instead being thrown around like a golf ball, doing things alone, basically a wasted trip for him as well. I had made myself clear even before the trip tat i don't intend to go to the theme park since it's really quite a waste of time as i tot this might be a very good time to spend it with my family, aka family holiday trip. Well, my aunt jus didn't get the idea and in order to make her know our obvious hints, we made our cousin suffer.
There are somethings tat i jus donno how to express out. I wanted people around me to be happy, and even though i can't giv everyone joy but i hope they can feel it. Thing is tat i jus hope tat ppl don't and won't take me for granted and start using me like it's something natural or i owed them.
Special thx to Lai Ping ('aaron' was jus a camp alias, ppl pls tke note!) for lending me his flash, even though i didn't use it much and i still need to know more bout my cam's function. So many functions, so little time. Next trip, a 16 days backpacking trip in aussie or new zealand!
My most enjoyable moments only lasted for a total of 5hrs, at most; went to watch G.I Joe with dad and sis and the movie really kicked ass. It's best action movie tat i had watch so far for tis yr (transformers 2 wasn't really tat great, i only gav scores for megan fox, terminator 4 jus had some brainless explosion scenes with not much storyline.). Went shopping with my sis and had our peace time for tat few hrs and of cos the best part which was the sky venture (although i can't really 'fly' tat well back then).
The whole trip did not serve its purpose for me though when i had already planned to make tis trip an escape for me from work, from all the stress, all the responsibilities tat i hav to face in my own reality. All the babysittings and running away from my aunt's phone calls was really tiring me out mentally. The only innocent party was my cousin, whom had hoped to enjoy himself at the outdoor theme park with us but didn't get to do anything he wanted, instead being thrown around like a golf ball, doing things alone, basically a wasted trip for him as well. I had made myself clear even before the trip tat i don't intend to go to the theme park since it's really quite a waste of time as i tot this might be a very good time to spend it with my family, aka family holiday trip. Well, my aunt jus didn't get the idea and in order to make her know our obvious hints, we made our cousin suffer.
There are somethings tat i jus donno how to express out. I wanted people around me to be happy, and even though i can't giv everyone joy but i hope they can feel it. Thing is tat i jus hope tat ppl don't and won't take me for granted and start using me like it's something natural or i owed them.
Special thx to Lai Ping ('aaron' was jus a camp alias, ppl pls tke note!) for lending me his flash, even though i didn't use it much and i still need to know more bout my cam's function. So many functions, so little time. Next trip, a 16 days backpacking trip in aussie or new zealand!
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Things to look forward in life (for now)
Fridays
Saturdays
and permanent Sundays
A new camera
Money
Sleep
and more time to do anything i wan
Confidence
A more information-retainable brain
My haversack (sent for repair)
Holiday
Peace, joy and fun
Not forgetting dreams tat can come true
Saturdays
and permanent Sundays
A new camera
Money
Sleep
and more time to do anything i wan
Confidence
A more information-retainable brain
My haversack (sent for repair)
Holiday
Peace, joy and fun
Not forgetting dreams tat can come true
Failure
I'm beginning to doubt myself even more after failing the crap module 5 test. It's jus a simple financial law 100 mcq test and i can't even get myself a simple green worded pass. I totally depress and disappointed with myself for not studying hard enough, i feel like i'm jus wasting everybody's time and my own money, everything ended up in naught.
I remember mom calling me tis morning to tell me 'good luck for the test', i was totally motivated by her simple gesture of encouragement and love. But somehow i felt tat i not only failed the test, i failed her as well. I can't pass my zoo's test, i can't even pass my basic theory test at the 1st 2 times, can't even pass my ippt, can't even pass tis m5 test and i don't even know wat good can i do anymore. The only thing i can do is to snatch a lollipop from a 3 yrs old's hand and i won't b proud of it even if i were to do tat.
When my friends asked me y do i even wanna consider being a insurance agent, it's not jus because of the fact tat being one can earn fast and quick bucks if u r willing to work hard for it, it's because i wan my parents to b able to enjoy life earlier and not slog so hard on their work. With extra money in hand i can sponsor them on holiday trips overseas to countries they wanted to go but never been to before. I jus wan to make tat simple wish come true, but can i even do tat? At tis point of time i don't even know wat i can do anymore. Anyways i'm only depressed not devastated so i won't think of committing suicide, no worries guy. haiz
I remember mom calling me tis morning to tell me 'good luck for the test', i was totally motivated by her simple gesture of encouragement and love. But somehow i felt tat i not only failed the test, i failed her as well. I can't pass my zoo's test, i can't even pass my basic theory test at the 1st 2 times, can't even pass my ippt, can't even pass tis m5 test and i don't even know wat good can i do anymore. The only thing i can do is to snatch a lollipop from a 3 yrs old's hand and i won't b proud of it even if i were to do tat.
When my friends asked me y do i even wanna consider being a insurance agent, it's not jus because of the fact tat being one can earn fast and quick bucks if u r willing to work hard for it, it's because i wan my parents to b able to enjoy life earlier and not slog so hard on their work. With extra money in hand i can sponsor them on holiday trips overseas to countries they wanted to go but never been to before. I jus wan to make tat simple wish come true, but can i even do tat? At tis point of time i don't even know wat i can do anymore. Anyways i'm only depressed not devastated so i won't think of committing suicide, no worries guy. haiz
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